Now, I'm aware of the curse of movie licenses being turned into games. I know it never really works, but I really liked the first Shrek movie, so, I'll admit that I had higher hopes for this title. All previous Shrek games had really been pretty crap, but this was being handled by the fine people at Luxoflux and Activision, who normally produce decent titles. Then I saw Shrek 2 and played the game.

Here's the thing - this is not a title made for an older audience. Really, it's not. The simplicity in the game is what made it, shall we say, lesser. Even prior to its release I was a little jazzed about the title because it looked like it really good be a good game with some real promise. Even our own News Editor, Joe McCollum, was suckered into the hype. He and I discussed how this seems like it could finally be a decent movie-to-game license. Maybe I had set my expectations too high for it, because I really hated the movie too; maybe it just wasn't that good. In breaking it down, though, maybe I can finally arrive at the center of the proverbial labyrinth that is Shrek 2.

She may be little and cute, but she can still seriously kick your ass, pussy-boy.

One of the first things I noticed when playing, even before the graphics, were the terrible controls. Even when I had played the game out at this past May's E3 expo I noticed that the controls were really, really sluggish. I had tricked myself into believing that it was just an old build they had in LA (refusing to believe that it was bad). Once again, I can understand that Ogres are not fast moving creatures. I expected Shrek and Fiona to move very slowly, but…damn. I mean, really, c'mon. It wasn't a "they move slow because they're ogres" type, it was just that everything moved slowly. Even Puss moved slowly, and he was a fast little booger in the movie (not to mention unbearable cute). It wasn't just the characters, either, as the enemies were slower than Jimmy Stuart reading the Mahabharata on the back of an arthritic tortoise munching on a Quaalude on a hot July afternoon in Calcutta (I'm not even going to delve into the explanation for you youngsters out there). I digress, though. You would tilt the control stick forward and there would be a delay between tilt and character movement. A number of times there was poor button response; either it wouldn't respond or would have serious lag, but I can't lay that just on the doorstep of Shrek 2. For those of you unfortunate enough to read my review of True Crime: Streets of LA, this seems to be Luxoflux's development problem as I experienced the exact same issues with movement and button response. Seriously, guys, get on the ball with that a little, will you?

The next thing I noticed were the graphics, which were pretty cool. Finally a Shrek game that came close to bringing Shrek to life, unlike the many previous titles. Rarely an instance of slowdown was a nice surprise; too bad the game wasn't exciting enough to incite a framerate slowdown. Some textures seemed a little muddied, but that's to be expected with any title. The character models, as I said, looked exactly like their characters from the film and moved fluidly. Really, for what it's worth, the game was a visual pleasantry. The backdrops were fresh and lively, using a wide palate of color and geometry, aided by a following camera (which became problematic, but I'll talk later on that), and everything seemed together very well. Video sequences used in-game models, much like True Crime, so the segues betwixt the two became fairly seamless. Really, if anything, the graphics were a selling point.

It seriously looked the exact same as the frickin' movie...and Donkey sure is fuzzy.

The actual gameplay was an interesting and decent concept that just, well, got kicked in the behind. The idea of the continual 4-character choice was excellent. Each character had their own little quirks - Puss was able to walk a tightrope or narrow ledge, Donkey was able to use his Burro Blast to kick open gates, Fiona could slow down time Matrix Style (like how she fought off Robin Hood and his Merry Men in the first film), Red Riding Hood had explosive apples, etc., etc., etc. Each of the character's special abilities would come in handy at times and necessary at others, but that was about where it all ended. Even if one of your characters "died" (or get knocked out, as it seemed), they returned to the fray only a short time later, which was fortunate as your teammates had the notorious brain-dead AI and were always, as I would put it, "getting chumped wif mad, crazy fists." The camera also became problematic at points because it would switch and then you'd get stuck in an area, or because of the angle you'd fall into an area you shouldn't go and have to re-start. Much like the character controls, the camera was slow to respond as well.

Audio presentation, however, was not bad. The voice acting was pretty close to the characters, but the repetition of sound bytes made me want to rip my face off and feed it to the dog. You can only hear Shrek yell, "I'm bigger than you!" so many times before you have to kick something, most likely the GameCube. The music neither helped nor hindered the game, which is a bonus in my book. It fit the mood of the game and kept everything peaceful. It almost became far too subdued, though, because I actually fell asleep once or twice playing the game because, as I've said, it just wasn't that interesting.

Imagine this for many hours - that's what the whole game is.

On the whole, the game just wasn't very good, at least not to/for me. For a younger audience (the key Shrek audience), it's a great title. The puzzles are simple, the graphics are pretty, there's some humor in it and it provides a variety of game styles, including the periodic "Hero Time" mini-games, but even those are brought down by their lack of direction. It was kind of like Paris Hilton - great to look at, annoying to hear and not much depth, but for whatever reason, you felt the need to play with it.